Swimming Lessons - My Father is Watching...

 

Seriously, I took this picture this morning.  I know, it's terrible.  I was completely preoccupied with the safety of my child, so it just is what it is.  I have heard different comparisons my whole life about what I want to write about today, but it hit home for me in a whole new light, and so I wanted to share about my own experience...or AHA moment.

 

Landon took James to his first swimming lesson last Saturday morning because I was at the Beth Moore conference.  This morning, Landon wanted to pressure wash the garage, so I took him.  We were running late (um, only because I still - after living here 3.5 years now - don't know the best way to get places sometimes), and I was sort of scattered, and we were busting in the door, and I was looking for Mr. Mark and James' pool - even though it was completely unfamiliar to me.  We get over to his pool, I get his shirt off, his goggles on, and finally locate the parent waiting room.  And then, I start to need for someone to give me a brown bag to hyperventilate in.  James can't swim.  I'm sorry, did you hear me?  JAMES CAN'T SWIM, and I've just left him with someone who is responsible for his entire life.  Other moms are in this waiting room like me.  Most of them are sitting on the couches, taking care of other children, reading a book, on their iphones, etc.  But three moms, including me, are glued to the glass (the kind where we can see our children but they can't see us) watching.  James is the youngest in his class.  He is the smallest.  He has the least experience in the water.  He doesn't like to get his face wet yet.  He doesn't like splashing.  I know what he likes and doesn't like.  I know what he's afraid of.  I know how much security I provide for him.  I know he depends on me.  I can see he's uncomfortable.  Now, he's not terrified, and he's a little whiny, but he's not screaming (or I would have been busting my fanny out there to get my baby), and he's sort of complying with what Mr. Mark is getting them to do.  I kept having to step back from the window because my hot breath was fogging it up from being so close.  With my face pressed to that window, and my sweaty hand glued to the glass, I had a realization.  One that I've heard about my whole life, but experienced on my own today.

 

I am never alone.  Even when I feel alone.  My Father is always watching me - even closer than a room away.  Even closer than the special mirror/see through glass.  His heart is full of love for me and concern for me just like mine is full of James while watching him swim.  His breath catches just like mine does when James takes a risk...kicks his legs...looks like he might fall in.  His heart feels like it's going to burst from being so proud when I have a victory - when James kicks his legs or gets water in his face and doesn't cry.  Sometimes it feels like I am alone.  Sometimes it feels like I'm at the swimming lesson, and He left.  He forgot about me.  Maybe even forgot He wanted me to take a swimming lesson.  He didn't forget.  It was me - I forgot.  He is watching - right there, catching me when I fall, as gently as possible.  He knows exactly what my swimming lesson looks like - from the time I get there until the end...He knows me.  He's letting me fly on my baby wings sometimes and it feels like He's not as close.  Oh, but He's right there.  He's in the parent room with His face glued to the window and His hand pressed to the glass and His breath fogging up the one way mirror and He is saying, "Go, Baby Girl! I believe in you.  I know you.  Feel secure out there in that pool because I placed you there sovereignly.  I don't forget you.  I am right here, watching.  I am right here - present with you - even if you forget I'm there."

 

James finished his lesson, and I have never been so glad to get to my baby.  Yikes.  Does anyone hear a helicopter in the distance??? Landon may have to take him to the lessons the rest of the month...

 

I hugged him tight and I told him how proud I was of him.  He asked where I was and if I left because he didn't see me.  I explained that I was there, behind the scenes, watching every second in case he needed me, and you know what?  He believed me.  I need to believe my Father when He tells me He's watching every second, that I never leave the palm of His hand, that He knows my name, that I can know perfect love without fear, that I am precious to Him, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made...and so on...and so on...and so on...

 

James had a swimming lesson today, and I had a life lesson today.  Thank you, Jesus.

The Last Few Days

Goodness, it has been busy the last few days.  I think it's pretty busy all the time but yikes.  James' face in this picture below is how I feel!!  The very beginning of each month is busier work-wise for me (which I am thankful for, let me be clear), but it does make more to juggle.  James is getting so much better about wearing whatever I pick out for him to go to church in.  This past year he has continued to say, "no, mommy, I wear MY CLOTHES."  Finally, in the past two weeks, I think I am starting to see some growing up signs :) behavior-wise.  He is playing by himself much better and has worn what I've picked out for him to wear to church the last couple of Sundays with hardly any objection.  He'll be three this month...where has the time gone????

 

 This is a terrible picture because I as trying to take it across the church with my phone, but we celebrated one graduate at Bethabra this past Sunday, Neil Whisenant.  The Whisenant family is very special to us, and they have had some real challenges this past year. I'm so happy that we, as a church, were able to celebrate Neil and his family and his accomplishment together on Sunday.

 Carolyn was already working early Monday morning (shock of all shocks), so we ran by the church and picked her up to take her to lunch.  We went to Chili's where James, for the first time ever, wanted to pick out his own meal from the kids menu, and ORDER IT HIMSELF.  He told the server he wanted "popcorn on the cob".  So cute. 

Monday night I tried a new recipe - a quiche I had at Britleigh's shower a couple of Saturdays ago.  I always think new recipes are going to turn out gross.  While they are baking, I think in my mind of other options as a back up when whatever it is comes out of the oven and is disgusting.  I totally thought this was going to be bad - because of my own cooking non-talent.  However, it was delicious!  AND, it was delicious when I ate it leftover again last night! YUM.  Spinach, bacon, and swiss cheese.  Delicious!

 

Then, I headed to a summer book club that my friend Hope is leading.  We are doing the book Fearless first, and it is really good.  It was so good to be (at Menchie's - ha), and with other ladies just talking and sharing and journeying through being a woman together.   So thankful for other women and how we are all the same in so many ways.

 

 I committed a couple of major mom no-no's today.  Please no one call DFCS (or however it's abbreviated/spelled) on me.  Live and learn, but I just have to share them.  I took James all over creation with me yesterday running some errands.  He is a trooper.  Even though he is generally well behaved, it EXHAUSTS me to get him in and out of the car and in and out of the stroller a bazillion times.  Then, he touches EVERYTHING while he rolls by it in his stroller- furniture, clothes, you name it.  Anyway, it's getting hot here.  Usually, I don't start the car until after I put James in, but I altered my system yesterday while running errands.  I would pull James up in the stroller close to my door and go ahead and start the car so it could be getting cool while I unloaded stuff and then finally put him in right before I got in.  Well, when we were leaving the mall, I pulled him up next to the back tire and started the car.  When I turned back to him, his hand was all black and he said, "What's this Mommy?"  You want to know why?  BECAUSE HIS HAND WAS ON THE EXHAUST PIPE WHEN I STARTED THE CAR.  I have thought about that many times, but did I think about it yesterday? NOPE.  I didn't.  It didn't burn his hand or freak him out at all, but oh heavens, it taught me a huge lesson.  I was just thankful the lesson was learned (by me) not at the cost of an ER trip because his hand as burned.

 

The other poor decision I made was about the train in the mall, and I am so interested in what you as other moms do about this.  I had $5 cash.  I told James he could choose the carousel or the train.  He chose the train (big shock).  The train costs $3 per person to ride.  I have always ridden it with James.  I asked him I he'd like to ride it alone.  The train circles around the end of the mall - inside - and I knew I'd be able to see him every second.  So, I let him ride it alone.  He did awesome.  Just was waving and waving from in his little train car.  But, I don't think I should have let him ride alone in hindsight.  I'm just not sure!  I just know I watched like a hawk and could see the train moving the whole time...but still, if anything ever happened...oh heavens.  Now you can see why I need the Fearless book in summer book club.  Ha.

 

That's about it.  We are having Jeremy and Heather Britt and their sweet children over for dinner tonight.  They are such a precious family, and while I do feel like we know them a little bit well (that didn't make sense), I am excited about getting to know them even better.  God has sure brought us precious families to Bethabra. 

The Sermon on the Mound

James had a tiny, tiny part in the big kids' play two weeks ago.  He came up, sat on he steps during a song, and then went back down.  Here he is with his friend, Jackson (and I think Layne is in there, as well, but I can't see him!).

 

 James & Finn :)

 The big kids - and they were Awesome!

 The sweet little girl preschoolers - Ava, Adaira, & Emma.

 And, before the play, James in his uniform.  He has been pretty excited about his very first glove :) 

Beth Moore, Swimming Lessons, & the Re-planted Garden

I went to a Beth Moore Living Proof Live event this weekend (which I have more to say about below), and James started swimming lessons today without me.  Thank goodness for good daddies!  I signed him up to take lessons every Saturday in June at Swim Atlanta.  I thought it was a little expensive, but I knew it would be worth it.  I had two choices for classes.  One class was where Landon or I would be in the water with him.  The other class was where Landon and I would watch from an observation area, and James would be with 3 other children and an instructor to learn by himself.  I explained that he could not even put his face in the water.  They told me that was fine and that he was still welcome to do the class without a parent in the water.  I really thought he might learn more if he went in without us, but I wanted Landon to be watching, and I mean, WATCHING, to go get him out of there if he was scared.  The last thing I want is for him to have a bad experience learning to swim and be afraid of water.  Landon said it went great!  One time of crying when James got water in his mouth and nose, but other than that, thumbs up!  I can't wait to go with them next Saturday.  Being a mom is really fun.  James has on the white shirt in the pictures and his Cars swimming trunks (thanks, Grandaddy :))

 Meanwhile, I was getting my worship on at Beth Moore.  We have done to consecutive Beth Moore studies at church - James and then Esther - and I just can't even describe how much I love this woman.  One of her greatest gifts is her ability to come across as completely sincere and genuine.  I actually believe that she loves me and would love to sit across from me at a table and just chat.  Her insight and even prophecy gifts are just incredible.  And then, there's Travis.  We first learned about Travis Cottrell at Woodstock when he came to do his Jesus Saves (I hope I'm right) DVD project there.  Um, basically, I was being transported to heaven.  It was unreal.  We sang a lot of those songs, and my favorite is STILL In Christ Alone.  Here's Hope and me with the cardboard cutouts:

She talked about Ephesians 2:19-22
¹⁹ So then you are no longer foreigners and noncitizens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of God’s household, ²⁰ because you have been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the cornerstone. ²¹ In him the whole building, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, ²² in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

 

She made the parallel from 1 Chronicles when David is instructing Solomon on how to build the temple - that we are living stones building the church.  She made 7 parallels.

1.  We are summoned to be part of building God's temple. 

Are we going to allow God to made us who He's already made us to be?

Am I going to be a builder-upper or a tearer-downer at my church?  Fake flattery (lying) is not the same thing as building up. 

When the temple was destroyed, all the stones were scattered.  That' all it takes for destruction of a building.  Old and young at a church - if we are scattered and not united - we are scattered stones, which is basically a cemetery - A dead church has separate stones.  We HAVE to be built together.  If we are joined together, He will bring His presence.  He will com.  We keep trying to be rock stars, but we need to be rock stacks.  We come to church to criticize because it's a graveyard - full of stones not built on each other, but standing alone.  Without God's presence, a church can do NOTHING to attract the world. 

 

2.  Our individual God ordained works should scare our flesh to death. 

Whatever you have been called to do is beyond you.  If you can handle easily whatever you have been called to do, then that's not it.  You are not in your destiny. 

 

3.  God is MORE THAN with us.  His Spirit is IN US.

We've gotten casual with thoughts that should disturb and thrill us.  The people of God are not nothing.  You have to be spirit filled - that doesn't mean you are called to be the BEST in your field.  God is with me and God is watching me are two different things.  He is individually in us and also in us as a group. 

 

4.  We have EVERYTHING we need to succeed.

The word success is in the Scriptures.  He wants us to be successful.  He says in Chron., to "Arise and Build". 

¹¹ O Lord, you are great, mighty, majestic, magnificent, glorious, and sovereign over all the sky and earth! You have dominion and exalt yourself as the ruler of all. - 1 Chron. 29:11

 

5.  Our temple also rests its weight upon the holy ground of mercy.

God always wants us back when we've messed up.  The way back to God is instantaneous.  Do you have a whole heart in what you have been called to do and who you are in Christ?  YOU WILL BEAR FRACTURED FRUIT IF YOU ARE DIVIDED.  Could be idolatry, could be because you are ready to move on and God is not ready to move you.  Until He releases you, get your heart back where He has you.

 

6.  The stones God purchase for His temple are precious to Him. 

 

7.  Our dedication of God's temple are worthy of ceremony.

 

I'm so glad I just took time to write some of my notes out - makes it come alive in my mind again.  In the last session, she had us lift up sacrifices - first sacrifices that we more easily are willing to give to God, and then sacrifices that are HARD -things that are difficult to trust God with.  It was unreal.  Very powerful.

 

When I got home, Landon was immediately in my face saying, "SHHHH, SHHH" - he was trying to get James down for a nap (even though he never naps) and didn't want James to realize I was home.  I tip toed in the guest room and fell asleep for a while.  We got up and went to Cracker Barrel and then came outside at home for a while.  Here's how the garden is looking:

 the pepper plants...

 Landon just replanted the garden today.  When he planted it a few weeks ago, it rained like 7 days in a row after that and destroyed the whole thing.  This is the first day he's had to replant. I don't know if you can see my furniture in the background, but it's there.  Landon borrowed the pressure washer and tried to see if that would get the paint off.  It got one layer, but not the other.  I'm giving myself til the end of the week to have the paint off and the furniture sanded.  The next week I am going to PAINT and put it all together - yay!

 

I cannot wait to be in His house in the morning.  I don't know if that sounds corny, but after the weekend I've had, I look so forward to seeing the families God has entrusted us with and just loving on them.  I look forward to worshipping with my whole heart - intact - and feeling conviction and learning.   Just something funny.  Every Sunday morning on the way to church, I pray out loud for Landon and for our church. James always is quiet and just listens to what I'm saying.  Lately he has started making comments.  One of the things I always pray is something like, "And just bring them Lord.  Just unexplainably bring the people.  Compel them to stop and worship with us.  Change us.  Bring the people".  I must say "bring the people" a lot because the last two weeks when I have finished, James has said, "No, I don't want Him to do it."  And I am like, "Do what, Buddy?"  And he says, "Bring the people. I don't want Him to bring the people."  WELL, PERFECT.  Even after I tried to explain, he still didn't care...and continued to say the same thing.  Unfortunate that my 3 year old is praying against me - ha.

Oh, It's Getting Done. Period.

James and I have been playing and playing and playing outside, especially now that I have my new little furniture project going on.  He has totally gotten the hang of his tractor from Grammie & GatorPa and is tooling all around the yard in it..

 I try to get James to choose the popsicles that are all in the plastic and you push them up?  He is not a fan.  So instead, he licks this one for a while, then sets it down for a while, and then continues eating it whenever he feels like it.  He has a huge meltdown, however, if he waits long enough to go back to it that it's melted.  He doesn't understand about it melting yet.

 So....TADA!!!!  I have felt 1,000 different things about my little project.  Nothing was working that we tried, so Landon agreed maybe we should call and find out if someone could blast it off.  I couldn't find anyone in our town that would do it - they couldn't do the wood - only could do metal stuff.  So, that helped me see that it truly is a project for me to work on, and that's that.  I worked hard on it this afternoon and I got a lot done!  Look at this one chair (don't think about the fact that there are 4 tables and a couch left).  I am going to feel SO GOOD about this project when it's complete!

A New Project and a Sick Recipe

Wednesday night at our house I was talking to Lane Rowe, basically one of my very favorite people :)  We were talking about how expensive porch furniture is, but how great some furniture would look on this one side of our deck that doesn't have anything there.  She mentioned that she had some old (I mean like 70 years old) rattan furniture in her barn and said she would sell it to me.  Long story short - I bought it.  Long story short - um, it's going to be HARD to get the paint off.  Imagine me, with a mask on, trying to use an electric sander out under the deck yesterday.  Yikes is right.  When that didn't work very well, I tried spraying it with some stuff we bought from Wal-Mart that makes the paint dry up, curl up, and easily peel off if you scrape it.  Well, it worked, but it was a CRAZY lot of work.  So then, you know what happened.  My project became a shared project.  It became Landon's project also.  Lane suggested I see how much an auto body shop would charge me to take some kind of blaster and blast the paint off.  I think this is a good idea, but I just wanted to do it myself!  I want to paint it black once I get it stripped, get some lime-ish cushions (with black accent pillows) for it and put a khaki outdoor rug under it with a black stripe around it.  I just hope my dream comes true. 

 

 

 Today at church for the first time in a long time, I did not have to be there until 9:45am.  Whoo-hoo!! It changed my whole outlook on the morning and just shows that people need a break sometimes.  I enjoy the stuff I do, but I loved that it was a little more relaxed getting ready.  James didn't put up a fight AT ALL about his clothes today, and he looked so cute in his little shirt (Wendy, I think this is a hand-me-down from Noah??) and new haircut.  About to be 3.  I cannot even take it!

 We had a picnic after church and had such a great turnout (for church and the picnic).  What a precious church family we have.  It was wonderful to spend time together eating and laughing and enjoying the gorgeous weather.  I am thankful, however, that it is over, because I have been smelling bbq cooking in the crockpot for about 5 days now, and I just cannot stand it anymore - makes me have weird dreams at night when we use the crockpot and I smell it throughout the house - gag me.

 And finally, don't make this.  I mean, you can make it if you want to, but I just have to tell you that it wasn't very good...but that could have been a chef problem, not a recipe problem.  I will stick with sausage egg casserole or that yummy recipe where you have crescent rolls and cream cheese from now on.

Looking forward to family time tomorrow for the holiday!

Summer Time...and the livin' is easy...

We were at a friends' house for dinner tonight, and I mentioned my blog.  My non existent blog.  The one that I think about A LOT because I know I should be chronicling our memories on it, and that's what my intent is, but I just get soooo mad because if I can't stick with it and do it consistently, then I just don't want to do it.  Then, I actually said out loud, "But it would probably be better to have some memories than no memories."  And, you know what, DUH.  So, if my blog is to archive special memories and stories and regular life, then what do I care if I blog completely irregularly?  It's no pressure unless I put the pressure on myself.  Okay, okay, you get the point. Also, it drives me cray-cray that I am skipping like months of interesting thing happening, and starting at a random place (today).  However, sometimes you just have to STOP being OCD and move it along.  James has been doing some pretty funny stuff lately, so I wanted to write it down.

 

James preschool is over for the year, but I wanted to make sure I remembered a hilarious story.  I pull up to get him in carpool one afternoon, and as Ms. Jean is putting him in the car, she says, "Mom, could I talk to you for a minute OUT OF THE CAR?"  Well...GREAT.  Ha.  I get out of the car, and Ms. Jean proceeds to tell me two funny stories.  They are out on the playground playing, and she looks up, and James has his pants down.  Well, there it is. That's it.  Ms. Jean gets over to him and asks if he needs to go to the bathroom.  He then says, "No, I already went.  My daddy lets me go in my yard."  And, that's the truth.  So, she explains that he has to go inside to the bathroom while he is at school.  He understands and they move on.  Then, a little boy starts pushing him, and he pushes the little boy back.  Ms. Jean calls them both over to talk to them.  When Ms. Jean asks James why he pushed the other little boy back, James simply says, "My daddy told me if someone pushes me I can push them back.  And that makes sense to me." 

 

Landon's parents were here this past weekend.  Landon's mom and I are in Wal Mart with James.  We had already been one place with him, and I knew he was beginning to wear thin, but he was hanging in okay.  We are close to the cheese (meaning not in an aisle, but sort of out in the middle of the food section among lots of people) and all of a sudden James starts screaming.  I look down and his finger is reddish/purplish and he has it stuck in the cart some way and can't get it out.  This was a moment when I literally wished I could blink myself out of motherhood because I am such a panicker and so ill-equipped to handle any crisis.  I check and his finger really is stuff - he is still screaming.  Two ladies enter the picture (oh, among the other "watchers" on the outskirts of the scene) and suggest lotion.  I squirt  little lotion on my hand and try to rub it on his hand.  He is screaming.  The ladies are helping.  The onlookers are looking.  It is stressful.  Then, Landon's mom takes the whole lotion bottle (which was a small one) and begins squirting it all over the part of the cart where his finger was stuck.  This was very smart.  I was able to get his finger out and held him the rest of the time we were in Wal-Mart.  Are you kidding me?

 

A few nights ago we went to Red Lobster with Carolyn and Gerald because their grandson, Tyler, graduated from high school this past week.  After we'd eaten dinner, James said he needed to go to the potty.  I took him.  After he had gone, and I said we had to wash our hands, he said, "Daddy says I don't have to wash my hands.  I will not wash them."  Alrighty then, I don't think so, Buster.  I say (because I am embarrassed by anyone who might also be in the restroom and listening), "OF COURSE Daddy makes you wash your hands!  You always wash your hands after you go to the potty."  "Not if I don't touch anything," James says.  So then I just gave up and said, "Well, when you go to the potty with Mommy, you always wash your hands."  We get to the sink, and one of the Red Lobster managers is standing there washing her hands.  She talks to us for a few minutes and is telling James how, as manager, she has to wash her hands not just once but TWICE after going to the bathroom.  She thought us talking in the stall was hilarious.  So, she follows us back to our table, and says to (like 15 people) me, "So, where's the Daddy?"  Landon, meanwhile, has no clue what's happening.  I point out Landon, and she says, "Daddy, I hear you don't make James wash his hands when he uses the restroom."  It was HILARIOUS.  Landon was like, what in the world???  I thought it was so funny!

 

A picture of James tearing through the house on his tricycle with his goggles and jacket on.

Playing play doh with Ava :)

Working upstairs and hugging the deer

We had a few people over last Wednesday night from our Bible Studies this past semester at church, and I was so excited that I was able to put up my stars that I made last year!!

And, we ate dinner with the precious Wingate family this past Thursday night and here are James and Adaira playing play doh together - seriously???  This is so hilarious.