Sunday, August 25, 2013

Though You Slay Me

I have some different thoughts rolling in my head tonight.  Isn't it interesting, with children, how many times we connect the Father's love for us with our love for our children?  I don't know about you, but I have experienced this a whole bunch - and am sure I will continue to do so.

This has been an interesting past month.  A wise friend of ours heard about our past month and said we were living life on life's terms.  Ha. Isn't that the truth?  We have had some challenges - traveling back and forth to FL, a death in our family, medical issues, etc.  That's just naming a few and keeping it surface level. 

Carolyn finished the porch cushions and they are gorgeous!  We were sitting out there yesterday - and it was a gorgeous day.  The Part 2 of painting our deck is beginning.  Landon painted the floor a beautiful dark, dark brown, and now we picked out a color for the railing, and he's begun that project. 

James and I were watching him get started on it, and we were all just chatting.  James was playing with the ipad on the couch outside and I was talking to Landon about who knows what.  Landon was sitting on the ground painting away. Then, James said, "Daddy, do you need any help?" For some reason, it was like all in my mind was quiet and I was just thinking what a precious moment it was.  Now, I vacillate back and forth sometimes between complete discontentment and complete contentment. We were sitting on the couch the other night eating Pizza Hut pizza on paper plates, and as I looked as Landon and James, I thought there's no way my life could be any more complete.  I mean, I hope we add to our family one day, but just was thinking how blessed I am.  Simple.  Pizza hut pizza.  Simple.  He asked his daddy if he could help him.  So, Landon said, "Sure, Son, come over here and you can help."  He got him all set up to help.  Showed him what to paint.  Talked about how to use the brush.  James began painting.  All was peaceful.  UNTIL...James started painting the floor.  The floor that's already been painted the beautiful brown.  Landon jerked his own shirt off and started mopping it up, trying to get the light, light brown paint off the dark brown paint on the floor of the deck.  James didn't quite know what was wrong, but he knew he'd made a mistake, and his face looked stunned.  I knew whatever Landon said next would be crucial.  Landon said, "James, why did you paint the floor?  Did Daddy show you to paint the floor?"  James said, "No, Daddy.  I just did it."  And then, Landon grabbed him up and hugged him tight and said, "Well, that's okay.  It's nothing we can't clean up.  Easy to clean up or paint over."  And James little face just looked relieved.  Looked like he could breathe again. 

And again, like has happened to me a lot in the past and I'm sure will continue to happen to me in the future, I could hear my Father speaking to me.  He was saying, "I know you want to help me.  And I know sometimes you don't know the best way.  Sometimes you accidentally paint the floor in an attempt to help when that's actually not the instruction I gave you.  I fully love and accept you.  I can mop it right up. You are not a mistake.  Don't stop painting just because you are scared of doing it wrong."  Boy, kids are moldable.  I can see how easily we can mess James up - and we will.  Unintentionally.  Doing the best we know how.  One thing I want him to know is that he is always accepted and loved by us - unconditionally.  Through mistakes like painting the floor, our arms are open to comfort, even when he's learning a lesson. 

Sometimes I feel like I try to hard and paint the floor...trying "help" God out in ways He didn't ask me to help Him.  Sometimes I feel like I just want to throw in the towel, and I can't do anything right.  And the enemy always whispers, "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...", and he whispers it in any doubtful area of my life.  And then, usually, Jesus sends me a sign.  Well, I take it as a sign. 

I was getting ready for church this morning and James wasn't awake yet (unusual).  I remembered that someone had posted a song I really wanted to hear because I thought the words were intriguing.  I played the song and ended up in the bathroom floor on the rug having a come to Jesus meeting before I even got in the van to go to church.  Father had words for me this morning.  He wanted me to know that if I'm sloppy with the paint or I get it on the floor, or if I'm just messing everything up, He's enough.  And, this isn't the first time He's given me this message.  He's given it to me numerous times.  One time in particular when I thought my life was over and I wouldn't survive.  But I did.  I did because He was enough.  He told me "I came for you just so that I could be enough for you in this situation. Trust me."

The song is a song by Shane & Shane called Though You Slay Me. 
Though you slay me - still I will praise you. 
Though you take from me - I will bless your name. 
Though you ruin me - I will sing a song of worship
To the One who is all I need.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Lego

Well, what would a trip home to FL be without a visit to the Emergency Room?  This was the first time anything like this happened, and I even though it's long since happened now, I know I need to document it so we can laugh in the future about it (still not laughing now).
Landon had already gone back to GA and left James and me in FL for a few more days.  It was Sunday afternoon and Mom, Dad, and I decided it would be a great idea to head over and visit Grandma and Grandpa for a little while.  We arrived at Grandma and Grandpa's house just like normal.  And, then things went awry.  Unfortunately.  The first thing James did was go to the hall closet and get the toys out.
These American Red Bricks are a big part of the toys at Grandma's house.  We have all been playing with them for many years.  Now James likes to get them out when we go over.  There are 3 tube things (my mind is drawing a blank about what they are called) in the floor of the closet.  They are a mix of the red brick stuff, tinker toys, and a few mini legos.  James got them all out and dumped them in the middle of the living room floor.  We are still greeting Grandma and Grandpa, hugging, taking a seat on the couch, etc.  All of a sudden, James was choking.  I was right beside him in the floor but was focused on the greetings.  He was making a crazy gagging noise - the one where you can tell no air is getting in or out.  So, in an uncharacteristic moment for me, I did not panic, but just acted.  I grabbed him and began doing the Heimlich.  Then I could hear him gasping for air and coughing and choking more.  I let him try to get it out.  Then, he swallowed it.  He screamed and freaked out as it was going down because whatever it was was painful and NOT supposed to go down your throat.  Meanwhile, everyone is frozen in the living room, standing, and ready to help.  I picked him up and carried him in the bathroom so that I could be alone with him.  I sat him up on the counter and squatted down on the floor beside him.  As I began to question him about what happened, he told me the exact story.  See, there was a green plastic - very little - cup mixed in the with the legos.  Sort of a tea cup.  James put a mini lego in the tea cup and pretended to drink it.  Except when he pretended, it fell in his mouth by accident, and he began choking on it.  James used to be really bad about putting stuff in his mouth, but for a long time now, he's been much better about that.  Once I could see he was okay, we headed back out into the living room where everyone was sitting on the couch, stunned, eyes wide, and waiting to see what was going to happen.  Mom suggested we go to the ER so that they could x-ray, and I agreed.  So, after staying 5 minutes and having a lovely, quality time, visit with Grandma and Grandpa, we left and headed to the Crestview ER.  They quickly got us back (oh, and by then, James was completely fine and whined about how I wouldn't let him eat any crackers for a snack all the way to the hospital) and began to check him over.  A lady came in and took an x-ray.  James was still as could be for the x-ray - a real trooper.  He and I played on the hospital bed (all over it, on the floor, jumping off of it, etc.), played Subway Surfer for a while, and finally decided to go ahead and call Landon to update him.  We facetimed Landon and when he answers, he doesn't say hello, but rather just begins "Hey There, Delilah" really loud on his guitar and singing the song, because apparently I have caught him in the middle of a jam session with Walker Bramlett.  He then realized that we are somewhere strange and stops serenading us.  I explain the situation just as he doctor is coming in to talk to us about what they've found. 
The doctor explains that they see nothing on the x-ray.  They see nothing because you can't see plastic on an x-ray.  I still was glad to they did the x-ray because they wanted to make sure nothing else looked wrong in there.  So, they said we had to wait.  The funniest thing was when they brought the x-ray in for us to look at.  The x-ray lady had told James she was taking his picture.  When they put the x-ray up to look at it, James, as serious as a heart attack said, "THAT IS NOT MY FACE."
So, we headed home with lots of warnings of things to watch for and the assurance that "most of the time", it passes in a few days.  And, that's what happened.  That's right, I combed through James' bathroom business for 3 days until I did find the lego.  And let me tell you, it was a huge celebration.  Each time we've been to Grandma and Grandpa's since then, James has assured us, "I will not eat a lego there." And, he hasn't. 
I know that I have a boy and that there may be more excitement like this coming for me.  I can still hope that this is the extent of the excitement though.  Here's to hoping that this will be our only lego eating ER visiting X-ray taking incident EVER.

James' 2nd and 3rd 3rd Birthday Parties

Birthday parties #2 and #3 happened in FL.  One with Landon's family and one with mine.  James got a bike from Nanna and Grandaddy!  Wow!
 He pretty much was completely obsessed with the helmet.  Serious business.
 All the sweet grandbabies (um, some not babies).
 James' cake at Grammie's house
 Celebrating James' and Daddy's b'days together
 Playing the squirrel game from Aunt Olivia.
 Cool truck from Grammie & GatorPa  (Note: James wore his helmet the entire b'day party at the Wise household).
Great fun!  No more b'day parties til 4 years old!!

James 1st 3rd B'day Party

Now see, here are the problems I run into wanting to blog.  I want to tell about every event that happens, and if it gets busy and everything blows up, then I think about those events in my mind, sort of in a time line, and can't let go of them until I blog about them.  Weird, I know.  So, QUICKLY, I want to write and show pictures from James b'day party so that I can (in my mind) move on. :)
We had a Cars b'day party for James at home.  I said that I was not going to have a birthday party for James at home because it was TOO much trouble.  However, when I began investigating the cost of birthday parties elsewhere...we decided to have it at home. 
We had a Cars jumpie, and Nicole made a BEAUTIFUL cake for James - it was awesome! Some of James friends were not able to come, but most of them were, and we had about 25 people.  It was a lot of fun.

So thankful for these sweet faces!  There were more kids than this, but apparently, I never put them together to take their picture (realizing this a month later).