Okay, who doesn't wish they left for the day and came back home to a clean house... Cleaned by some magic fairies who came in and whisked all the dirt away? I'm interested in opinions on this subject, which is why I am writing this post. Landon and I have been married 6 years now. I would say that right now, we are busier than we have ever been. I work about 45 minutes away from our house, 5 days a week, and have stuff usually at least one night a week to do. When I get home, I am exhausted!! We are teaching a marriage Sunday School class, hanging out with our couple friends, I'm playing the piano, I'm having to work some from home at night...and the list goes on. I come in at night after work, and the last thing I want to do is clean up...yet...that's what I find myself doing fairly often. Even if deep cleaning had not happened and I just walked upstairs to pillows in their places on the couches and the blanket folded and violin music on its stand in the corner and any random junk in a nice neat pile in the floor...I would think I'd died and gone to heaven! Landon and I have very different standards on cleanliness in our home. I'm not saying Landon wants to live in a pigsty, but I am definitely saying that living in clutter or a little dirt does not bother him in the least. Me, on the other hand...for me, I love to come home to a clean house. And, on Saturdays, I don't feel like I can relax unless the house is semi-clean and straightened up. I don't feel like I am a maniac about this - I just don't like stuff in the floor or on the table or all the toilets being dirty, or light bulbs being out, or the TV cabinet being so dusty I can see the dust from the couch...
And, don't get me wrong, Landon is willing to help me. If I ask him to do something, he will almost always do it. He is the best shower cleaner EVER because he can scrub a lot harder than me. And, he's gotten to where he always makes our bed in the mornings. The problem is that he doesn't notice the dirt and dust and clutter like I do and is more apt to drop stuff and leave for much longer than I will.
I have asked him several times what his thoughts are on having a little bit of help with our house - perhaps not now...but maybe down the road if I ended up needing to be a working momma. He is not a fan of this idea because (I think) he feels we don't have enough money. I, however, feel that we afford what we make a priority - and that's a priority for me. I just can relax so much more easily when I get home if things are straight and clean!
So...what to do? Nothing for now. I'm interested in some opinions on how to handle house cleaning as a married couple. I see several options:
- Clean 90% of the house by myself (which is what I feel like I'm doing now)but
never feel like I'm getting any rest and feel bad for asking Landon to clean the
other 10% (I understand the feeling bad part is my own stuff)
- Divide the chores with Landon, but then I'll have to be okay with it if he
doesn't have time or chooses not to do his by the time I'd like it done
- Get in huge screaming arguments about this subject and still end up doing it myself
- Hire someone - which Landon seems staunchly against at this point
So...what are we going to do? Well, here are the steps we have taken. Landon fully realizes I do the majority of the housework. So, after he helped me clean the shower last Saturday, and I was talking to him, again, about someone helping us, he asked me to make a list of each room that needs to be cleaned and what should be done in each room. I did this yesterday. And, I really enjoyed it because I love making lists. Where this list will take us...I do not know. I do want to say though, that this post is in no way meant to make Landon look bad. I understand that we are all different and have different standards and different priorities. I understand Landon brings lots of great things to our marriage...perhaps this is just not his forte. I do not want to be a harasser/nagging wife, yet I do not want to live in yuckiness or have to do everything myself and not be able to ever rest.
Who has thoughts on this? How have you handled this at your house? Would anyone like to send us some money so that I can whistle while I pay someone else to work in our house?
You need an extra set of hands...cute, tiny, pink newborn hands? : )
ReplyDeleteNOTE: I do not advocate having children just to help with the housework. They'd be terrible at it. For the first year, their puny hands and arms won't be able to lift anything! Kind of a waste if you ask me.
As a new mother, believe me, babies aren't near as much help as you intend them to be. Isabelle is terrible at cleaning the toliets. It's the whole "I don't use them, so why should I clean them?" mentality. Anyway, Shannon and I divide us the house cleaning chores and it seems to work pretty well. Now, does he clean to my version of cleanliness? Uh, NO!! However, some battles aren't worth fighting and if he is helping, well then God bless him.
ReplyDeleteMandy
I feel the same way about cleanliness!! I cannot study or concentrate until all the dishes are done and the kitchen is clean. In fact, I just finished doing all the dishes in my house (including re-washing all the ones that were still dirty after washing in the dishwasher) so I could concentrate on studying. I definitely think we got this from Mom!!
ReplyDeleteI vote for hiring someone. I always baulked at the idea because I felt it would be failure on my part. Since Floe has been born I now think it would set me up for success because my house would be clean. Here is my concern (aside from the cost), how much do I have to straighten up/clean for someone to come in and clean for me? Do you know what I mean?!
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