Monday, January 11, 2010

A Baby Changes Everything

I’ve waited quite a while to share some exciting news with the blog world. I am having a baby! I know, I know. If you know Landon and me, you probably thought this would never happen. I don’t think this will be a shock to many of you who read our blog because we’ve tried to tell our close friends and family in person and by email. We gave the news to our new church yesterday, so we’re finally ready to post it on the blog. We are having a baby. Exciting and scary. I just finished the first trimester and am about to start Week 15. While I know that the first trimester is over, and that's a big relief, I still know that every single day God allows me to carry this baby, it's a miracle, and I don't take it for granted. I know that at any point something could happen, and you know I'm a worrier, so I'm trying to remember that God is in control. I would like to have waited until I had a healthy baby to show everyone before I told a soul, but uh, I know it doesn't work like that. I'm very excited, but I'm also afraid (this is my brokenness, you know). It's so overwhelming to think about what to share, so let me take you back to the beginning….and just know….this is going to be a very long post, friends…

I woke up Sunday morning, November 1, and decided to take the plunge (aka the pregnancy test). I knew something was up, but I just didn’t know what. I felt gross and yuck, but I just thought that was normal stuff. It’s funny because I just didn’t want to be disappointed…but then again, I wanted to know what was up. So, I took it. Well, I was completely shocked when it said “Pregnant”. It’s crazy because we’ve tried our entire marriage to prevent having children and then finally when we decide to try to have one…it’s like you just have no idea if it’s going to work or not. Landon was at work that morning so I just tried to do like normal and get ready for Sunday School – in the midst of shaking and saying to myself, “I’m way too crazy to be a mother!” When I got to church, no one was in our Sunday School class yet. I thought I might try to wait until later in the day to tell Landon because I didn’t want him to be distracted during class, but dude, I could not wait. I needed to tell someone this new news. So, I walked up to the podium where he was standing looking at the lesson…and said something like, “Well, it worked.” And, he was like, “What worked?” I was like, “We got one. We got a baby.” And then he said, “We need to sit down.” So, I can’t really remember exactly what our conversation was like that morning sitting in the front row of our class. We both were shocked (we apparently didn’t know what caused this), and just needed some time to let the idea sink in. It just seemed totally unreal. We were happy – happy that it worked – happy that God blessed us like this – but still shocked. I had a wedding shower to host that afternoon, so Landon and I did not really talk again until about 5pm Sunday. He said, “Let’s go out to eat so we can talk about this.” We do our best talking when we go out to eat. We headed to Longhorn. Basically, at Longhorn, Landon decided I should take another test so that he could read the instructions, control the taking of the test, and look at the results. We went to Wal-Mart and bought another test – a different brand than I had taken that morning. Well, right away when I got home and took the test…it was a +. That was Day 1.

Now, I guess, since I'm almost at Week 15, I am about Day 105 :) About 2 months ago we went for the 9 week ultrasound and got to see our baby....Here he/she is....

Now, I know you cannot tell much about this, but let me tell you - it was so neat. We could clearly see the heart beating, and where the arms and legs were starting, and you could clearly see the head. It was crazy awesome. I went back about 3 weeks ago, and didn't have an ultrasound, but we did get to hear the heartbeat. The doctor says everything is going great. I'll go back in 2 weeks and we'll hear the heartbeat again...and then the next month...we find out boy or girl. The baby is due July 7. We didn't have enough going on in July with both our birthdays and our anniversary, so we thought we'd add a baby to the festivities that month.

Ah, uncharted territory. I don’t think I realized how much this whole thing crazy affected your body. I just thought it was kind of like putting a baby doll up your shirt.

We've had a lot of changes at once. A new church, a new baby, and we're getting a new home. We just thought we'd do it all big and all at once! Because none of those things on its own is stressful at all!
You can expect lots of baby updates and news now that we are totally "out". I'll try not to give too much information that is unnecessary, but hey, we are talking about ME here.
Like I said at the beginning of the post, I am just thanking God for everyday that we get past. My tendency is fear and worry, so I'm trying to just relish in it and not worry so much. I thought the worrying would start once he/she was born! Please join us in celebrating our exciting news and please pray for a healthy baby!!!

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations! You and Landon will be great parents. I'm going to guess that it's a boy! And, just so you know, the worrying never goes away, but you do learn to deal with it.