Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Why Does God Make Us Wait? I Don't Like It.



Do you ever feel like the clock is just ticking and ticking and ticking and you are ready for something to happen, but it's just not happening? That's how I feel right now...today. I feel like God has called Landon and me to full time ministry, and yet, we are not there yet, and we are being pulled in a million other directions that, generally, are not our call. I don't know why we're having to wait so long. I feel like we really have our act together - like we are really in our niche here - doing what God has called us to really do, well, as much as we can in a part time capacity. It is just hard to wait on God - and sometimes hard to believe that He has really good things for me. I remember in the Shack it talked about how God is always good, and we just interpret things that "feel good" to be good for us, and things that "feel bad" to be bad for us. That is so true about me. The Father has done CRAZY stuff in my life. He has redeemed the unredeemable for me. Truly. And yet, I am still a brat. I still wonder almost every day when He is going to open a full time door for us - here or somewhere else. I am excited about answering His call when it finally comes...but it's hard to stay hopeful and excited and pumped about going wherever...when it seems like it's never happening. And, I worry about Landon, too, and how he's feeling - hello, I think the Father can take care of His precious child, Landon. We just continue to live the daily sludge of life and get through each day - and this is a ridiculous way for me to feel. God is using us big time here - I can see that if I open my eyes and stop feeling so sorry for myself. It just seems like there are goals for our family that I really want, but we just can't meet them unless we get to go to the next level. Hmm...trusting God? Well...yeah, I trust him, but 8 months is my trust limit, and now I have to take the steering wheel back. Take it back and do what with it? I don't know...just not trust anymore and stand in the corner and pout, I guess. He is a good God. He is mine, and He delights in me, AND He wants to give me the desires of my heart. Wow, I'm a brat. Thank goodness He continues to pour grace out to me and redeem me even though I'm a brat, and unredeemable. Thank goodness I can tell Him this stuff and don't have to be afraid to share my true wicked heart with Him. Thank goodness He loves me anyway. Thank goodness that even when I doubt, He still has a plan, and He's still speaking in a quiet voice to me...if I'll listen. I'm praying today the ticking clock will be still, and I will rest in the Father's sufficiency. Whew...DEEP BREATH...DEEP BREATH...

7 comments:

  1. Awesome thoughts. We do tend to be like little bratty kids. God blesses us over and over again, but when we want something we want it NOW. I can totally relate right now:)

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  2. I'm a brat too. God has always come through for me in the past and why wouldn't he come through for me in the present. I just get so impatient because I want what I want right now. But, you're right, God is good and I'm sure he has a purpose for making me wait.

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  3. Hi! I googled why does God make us wait and this is where I landed. Feel like a big fit throwing brat much of the time. Well all the time latley. I can't seem to fing my calling and I am making everyone miserable... Thanks for your blog, brought some much needed perspective, though I am still not sure what to do... stacee_acee@yahoo.com

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  4. I am a brat too, I think my desire to get married had reached it's maximum and now I am afraid I don't even want to hear about the subject anymore. I had said many years before that I will get married at 25 and now 25 has come and gone, still no sight of a man near me.
    I know that things are not that bad but it is just so hard to wait, I heard God say the other day "I have saved you from death in the past, I have provided when you were down and out, I have done much surely I can give you a husband" but the funny thing is even after hearing this I have my doubts sometimes and it is hard to wait. I feel like the children of Israel when they were questioning if God can give them meat after he had parted the sea for them. May God please forgive me and help me build my faith. I want to trust Him always

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  5. No matter how mad i get about God making me wait. I know God is my only hope, salvation, and the only way!

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  6. I WANT to be a good Christian teen girl. I want to live all out for God. But...I have so many unanswered issues in my heart...I have so much rotten junk in there that won`t come out. I feel like unless certain things happen, I won`t be able to move forward.

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  7. I'm also struggling with waiting upon God now but I pray that God may forgive me and give me the grace to continue trusting because I know He gets dissapointed at us when we doubt or get anxious because we think He may not do it or He's not listening when we pray...I just wish He'd make it easier to wait by not keeping so silent.

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